








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 910 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September





The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Premier | 165 matches | ||
| Competitive Dust2 | 8 matches | ||
| Competitive Train | 5 matches | ||
| Competitive Overpass | 4 matches | ||
| Competitive Office | 4 matches | ||
| Competitive Vertigo | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Nuke | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Anubis | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 10 different maps





Our logs show 10 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




7 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
2654 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 6,403 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 1532 | 24% |
| Smokes | 1244 | 19% |
| HE Grenades | 1972 | 31% |
| Molotovs | 1655 | 26% |
Our logs show you have wasted $833,659 of utility $181 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 217 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | TORCH | 93% | 15 |
| #2 | Nagaviper | 76% | 21 |
| #3 | 7am | 74% | 68 |
| #4 | techyyy | 69% | 39 |
| #5 | Pathetic Jon | 69% | 64 |
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #4 | techyyy | 69% | 39 |
| #5 | Pathetic Jon | 69% | 64 |
| #6 | Kronen | 63% | 19 |
| #7 | Exodia | TRADING | 54% | 97 |
| #8 | eyz | 53% | 53 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | 7am | 6 | 0.0045 |
| #2 | Pathetic Jon | 6 | 0.0047 |
| #3 | eyz | 3 | 0.0028 |
| #4 | Exodia | TRADING | 2 | 0.0010 |
| #5 | techyyy | 2 | 0.0025 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Pathetic Jon | 292 | 0.23 | 7 min |
| #2 | Exodia | TRADING | 213 | 0.11 | 5 min |
| #3 | 7am | 172 | 0.13 | 4 min |
| #4 | techyyy | 172 | 0.21 | 4 min |
| #5 | eyz | 95 | 0.09 | 2 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | 7am | +2.99 | 85 | 65 |
| #2 | Pathetic Jon | +2.59 | 71 | 68 |
| #3 | Exodia | TRADING | +2.24 | 87 | 50 |
| #4 | girlcuck | +1.89 | 83 | 55 |
| #5 | TORCH | +1.88 | 87 | 59 |





