








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 46 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September




The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Premier | 98 matches | ||
| Faceit | 45 matches | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 4 matches | ||
| Competitive Ancient | 4 matches | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 4 matches | ||
| Competitive Dust2 | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Nuke | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Anubis | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 8 different maps





Our logs show No Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




2 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
1402 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 4,151 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 609 | 15% |
| Smokes | 1168 | 28% |
| HE Grenades | 1221 | 29% |
| Molotovs | 1153 | 28% |
Our logs show you have wasted $432,358 of utility $110 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 8 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Ruchy | 58% | 24 |
| #2 | scar | 47% | 30 |
| #3 | donut appreciator | 46% | 89 |
| #4 | joosh | 46% | 35 |
| #5 | ALT | 41% | 29 |
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #2 | scar | 47% | 30 |
| #3 | donut appreciator | 46% | 89 |
| #4 | joosh | 46% | 35 |
| #5 | ALT | 41% | 29 |
| #6 | WaCK-ar | 36% | 11 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | donut appreciator | 8 | 0.0042 |
| #2 | scar | 4 | 0.0063 |
| #3 | ALT | 3 | 0.0048 |
| #4 | joosh | 2 | 0.0027 |
| #5 | WaCK-ar | 2 | 0.0087 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | donut appreciator | 286 | 0.15 | 7 min |
| #2 | ALT | 115 | 0.18 | 3 min |
| #3 | WaCK-ar | 77 | 0.33 | 2 min |
| #4 | Ruchy | 72 | 0.14 | 2 min |
| #5 | scar | 65 | 0.10 | 1 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Ruchy | +4.04 | 85 | 75 |
| #2 | ALT | +1.13 | 68 | 60 |
| #3 | joosh | +0.21 | 70 | 34 |
| #4 | scar | +0.11 | 82 | 62 |
| #5 | donut appreciator | -0.25 | 54 | 60 |





