








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 630 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September





The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Premier | 384 matches | ||
| Faceit | 159 matches | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 57 matches | ||
| Competitive Dust2 | 56 matches | ||
| Competitive Ancient | 32 matches | ||
| Competitive Nuke | 31 matches | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 28 matches | ||
| Competitive Train | 26 matches | ||
| Competitive Vertigo | 21 matches | ||
| Competitive Anubis | 14 matches | ||
| Competitive Grail | 4 matches | ||
| Competitive Overpass | 4 matches | ||
| Wingman | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Office | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Basalt | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 19 different maps





Our logs show 50 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




69 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
9198 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 31,667 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 8524 | 27% |
| Smokes | 9920 | 31% |
| HE Grenades | 6713 | 21% |
| Molotovs | 6510 | 21% |
Our logs show you have wasted $1,948,358 of utility $105 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 728 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | ZyNwOo | 58% | 60 |
| #2 | tehk_ | 55% | 64 |
| #3 | Ruchy | 53% | 206 |
| #4 | tropical sheep | 52% | 71 |
| #5 | Hangman | 51% | 102 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | scar | 23 | 0.0028 |
| #2 | joosh | 13 | 0.0020 |
| #3 | WaCK-ar | 12 | 0.0044 |
| #4 | ALT | 11 | 0.0045 |
| #5 | Kōrīhowaitohausu de chō taihen! | 10 | 0.0040 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | scar | 1114 | 0.14 | 23 min |
| #2 | Ruchy | 706 | 0.17 | 17 min |
| #3 | joosh | 693 | 0.11 | 13 min |
| #4 | WaCK-ar | 627 | 0.23 | 16 min |
| #5 | ALT | 410 | 0.17 | 10 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Ruchy | +2.82 | 81 | 68 |
| #2 | tehk_ | +2.73 | 83 | 62 |
| #3 | Kōrīhowaitohausu de chō taihen! | +2.21 | 83 | 43 |
| #4 | Hangman | +1.10 | 75 | 68 |
| #5 | tropical sheep | +1.09 | 69 | 72 |





