








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 736 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September





The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Premier | 152 matches | ||
| Faceit | 77 matches | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 50 matches | ||
| Competitive Ancient | 21 matches | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 15 matches | ||
| Competitive Nuke | 8 matches | ||
| Competitive Overpass | 7 matches | ||
| Competitive Anubis | 7 matches | ||
| Competitive Dust2 | 6 matches | ||
| Competitive Train | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Vertigo | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Basalt | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 11 different maps





Our logs show 19 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




18 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
5043 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 16,831 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 4031 | 24% |
| Smokes | 4179 | 25% |
| HE Grenades | 3913 | 23% |
| Molotovs | 4708 | 28% |
Our logs show you have wasted $1,021,773 of utility $122 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 562 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Rez | 58% | 24 |
| #2 | scar | 58% | 170 |
| #3 | Hangman | 58% | 66 |
| #4 | Kōrīhowaitohausu de chō taihen! | 57% | 53 |
| #5 | ALT | 57% | 23 |
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #7 | donut appreciator | 53% | 206 |
| #8 | notawaffle | 52% | 23 |
| #9 | ZyNwOo | 52% | 50 |
| #10 | tehk_ | 52% | 29 |
| #11 | WaCK-ar | 46% | 26 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | donut appreciator | 14 | 0.0033 |
| #2 | scar | 5 | 0.0014 |
| #3 | joosh | 4 | 0.0017 |
| #4 | Hangman | 2 | 0.0014 |
| #5 | ZyNwOo | 2 | 0.0019 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | donut appreciator | 558 | 0.13 | 13 min |
| #2 | scar | 444 | 0.13 | 9 min |
| #3 | joosh | 248 | 0.11 | 5 min |
| #4 | Hangman | 190 | 0.14 | 4 min |
| #5 | WaCK-ar | 129 | 0.22 | 3 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Ruchy | +2.66 | 80 | 68 |
| #2 | tehk_ | +2.64 | 85 | 68 |
| #3 | Kōrīhowaitohausu de chō taihen! | +1.62 | 82 | 54 |
| #4 | Hangman | +0.78 | 73 | 72 |
| #5 | scar | +0.57 | 74 | 53 |





