








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 79 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September


The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Premier | 164 matches | ||
| Faceit | 89 matches | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 26 matches | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 19 matches | ||
| Competitive Ancient | 14 matches | ||
| Competitive Dust2 | 11 matches | ||
| Competitive Nuke | 11 matches | ||
| Competitive Vertigo | 9 matches | ||
| Competitive Anubis | 5 matches | ||
| Competitive Train | 5 matches | ||
| Competitive Overpass | 5 matches |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 13 different maps





Our logs show 12 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




20 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
3442 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 10,177 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 2356 | 23% |
| Smokes | 2533 | 25% |
| HE Grenades | 2533 | 25% |
| Molotovs | 2755 | 27% |
Our logs show you have wasted $1,308,041 of utility $150 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 275 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Festive DarDarMan1 | 62% | 26 |
| #2 | hedgester | 59% | 34 |
| #3 | Ruchy | 54% | 117 |
| #4 | ZyNwOo | 52% | 29 |
| #5 | tropical sheep | 51% | 59 |
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #9 | WaCK-ar | 44% | 45 |
| #10 | Hangman | 42% | 66 |
| #11 | hart | 42% | 24 |
| #12 | ALT | 41% | 75 |
| #13 | Kōrīhowaitohausu de chō taihen! | 40% | 72 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | donut appreciator | 25 | 0.0038 |
| #2 | scar | 17 | 0.0042 |
| #3 | ALT | 8 | 0.0049 |
| #4 | Kōrīhowaitohausu de chō taihen! | 7 | 0.0047 |
| #5 | WaCK-ar | 6 | 0.0061 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | donut appreciator | 906 | 0.14 | 21 min |
| #2 | scar | 542 | 0.14 | 12 min |
| #3 | Ruchy | 377 | 0.16 | 9 min |
| #4 | tropical sheep | 284 | 0.23 | 7 min |
| #5 | ALT | 277 | 0.17 | 7 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Festive DarDarMan1 | +4.09 | 82 | 41 |
| #2 | Ruchy | +2.62 | 79 | 66 |
| #3 | hedgester | +2.57 | 84 | 65 |
| #4 | Kōrīhowaitohausu de chō taihen! | +2.28 | 82 | 47 |
| #5 | Hangman | +0.92 | 72 | 65 |





