








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 326 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September





The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Premier | 42 matches | ||
| Competitive Dust2 | 24 matches | ||
| Competitive Nuke | 20 matches | ||
| Faceit | 19 matches | ||
| Competitive Ancient | 14 matches | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 10 matches | ||
| Competitive Vertigo | 10 matches | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 9 matches | ||
| Competitive Anubis | 9 matches | ||
| Competitive Train | 6 matches | ||
| Competitive Overpass | 5 matches | ||
| Wingman | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Office | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 13 different maps





Our logs show 17 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




19 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
1837 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 9,007 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 2502 | 28% |
| Smokes | 2538 | 28% |
| HE Grenades | 1578 | 18% |
| Molotovs | 2389 | 27% |
Our logs show you have wasted $822,447 of utility $168 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 567 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | notawaffle | 62% | 45 |
| #2 | sorairo | 57% | 14 |
| #3 | scar | 51% | 132 |
| #4 | donut appreciator | 50% | 128 |
| #5 | hart | 48% | 29 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | donut appreciator | 520 | 0.19 | 14 min |
| #2 | scar | 389 | 0.14 | 9 min |
| #3 | Kōrīhowaitohausu de chō taihen! | 143 | 0.08 | 3 min |
| #4 | notawaffle | 142 | 0.15 | 4 min |
| #5 | joosh | 119 | 0.12 | 3 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | tehk_ | +4.01 | 87 | 60 |
| #2 | Ruchy | +3.37 | 81 | 68 |
| #3 | sorairo | +2.35 | 76 | 58 |
| #4 | Kōrīhowaitohausu de chō taihen! | +2.12 | 85 | 46 |
| #5 | Hangman | +1.61 | 70 | 72 |





