








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 303 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September




The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Faceit | 138 matches | ||
| Premier | 120 matches | ||
| Competitive Dust2 | 6 matches | ||
| Competitive Anubis | 3 matches | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Train | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Nuke | 2 matches | ||
| Wingman | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 10 different maps





Our logs show 11 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




10 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
2938 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 10,011 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 2051 | 20% |
| Smokes | 2833 | 28% |
| HE Grenades | 2859 | 29% |
| Molotovs | 2268 | 23% |
Our logs show you have wasted $836,427 of utility $121 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 133 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #10 | x/o D3R4NG3D | 43% | 28 |
| #11 | ⒾⓃⒻⒶⓃⓉⒶ | 42% | 33 |
| #12 | HaZy | 41% | 22 |
| #13 | LeXmaskinen | 37% | 19 |
| #14 | Slogi | 33% | 18 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | x/o khA9z | 3 | 0.0021 |
| #2 | ⒾⓃⒻⒶⓃⓉⒶ | 3 | 0.0041 |
| #3 | Ellz | 3 | 0.0045 |
| #4 | TEsA | 2 | 0.0010 |
| #5 | x/o dzy | 2 | 0.0025 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | TEsA | 494 | 0.23 | 14 min |
| #2 | x/o RELiANTiNN | 249 | 0.15 | 6 min |
| #3 | x/o khA9z | 198 | 0.14 | 3 min |
| #4 | x/o dzy | 141 | 0.18 | 4 min |
| #5 | Ellz | 98 | 0.15 | 3 min |





