








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 98 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September




The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Faceit | 224 matches | ||
| Premier | 201 matches | ||
| Competitive Anubis | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Dust2 | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Train | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 9 different maps





Our logs show 37 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




16 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
5181 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 23,148 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 7880 | 34% |
| Smokes | 5445 | 24% |
| HE Grenades | 5164 | 22% |
| Molotovs | 4659 | 20% |
Our logs show you have wasted $667,494 of utility $66 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 94 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Aron Olafs*** | 68% | 34 |
| #2 | EAZY | 59% | 32 |
| #3 | DivisioN | 57% | 118 |
| #4 | x/o dzy | 56% | 84 |
| #5 | x/o khA9z | 56% | 198 |
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #9 | eggiFUNCTION- | 52% | 29 |
| #10 | 333 Kirby | 52% | 29 |
| #11 | Ellz | 49% | 85 |
| #12 | Septor | 49% | 55 |
| #13 | x/o D3R4NG3D | 45% | 33 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | x/o RELiANTiNN | 6 | 0.0013 |
| #2 | x/o dzy | 4 | 0.0023 |
| #3 | x/o khA9z | 3 | 0.0007 |
| #4 | Ellz | 3 | 0.0016 |
| #5 | n7ght | 2 | 0.0010 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | x/o RELiANTiNN | 696 | 0.15 | 18 min |
| #2 | x/o khA9z | 548 | 0.13 | 11 min |
| #3 | DivisioN | 410 | 0.17 | 9 min |
| #4 | x/o dzy | 262 | 0.15 | 7 min |
| #5 | Ellz | 235 | 0.13 | 7 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | EAZY | +2.59 | 72 | 67 |
| #2 | eggiFUNCTION- | +2.17 | 81 | 71 |
| #3 | 333 Kirby | +1.61 | 79 | 60 |
| #4 | DivisioN | +1.38 | 57 | 70 |
| #5 | x/o dzy | +0.82 | 67 | 72 |





