








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 74 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September




The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Faceit | 51 matches | ||
| Premier | 45 matches |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 8 different maps





Our logs show 15 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




6 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
1362 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 6,151 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 1984 | 32% |
| Smokes | 1456 | 24% |
| HE Grenades | 1753 | 28% |
| Molotovs | 958 | 16% |
Our logs show you have wasted $191,446 of utility $67 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 12 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Luffy^- Skyjaskokkari | 64% | 14 |
| #2 | TEsA | 56% | 84 |
| #3 | Ellz | 52% | 27 |
| #4 | Aron Olafs*** | 50% | 8 |
| #5 | 333 Kirby | 50% | 8 |
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #11 | LeXmaskinen | 43% | 7 |
| #12 | DivisioN | 41% | 27 |
| #13 | x/o mayhem | 33% | 9 |
| #14 | Septor | 26% | 19 |
| #15 | da_dentis | 25% | 8 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | x/o khA9z | 4 | 0.0021 |
| #2 | TEsA | 4 | 0.0022 |
| #3 | x/o RELiANTiNN | 1 | 0.0006 |
| #4 | x/o D3R4NG3D | 1 | 0.0011 |
| #5 | Ellz | 1 | 0.0017 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | TEsA | 420 | 0.23 | 13 min |
| #2 | x/o RELiANTiNN | 275 | 0.15 | 7 min |
| #3 | x/o khA9z | 229 | 0.12 | 4 min |
| #4 | DivisioN | 103 | 0.18 | 3 min |
| #5 | x/o D3R4NG3D | 90 | 0.10 | 3 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | DivisioN | +1.10 | 54 | 70 |
| #2 | x/o khA9z | +0.75 | 48 | 65 |
| #3 | TEsA | +0.69 | 42 | 73 |
| #4 | Aron Olafs*** | +0.48 | 67 | 78 |
| #5 | x/o dzy | +0.40 | 67 | 73 |





