








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 145 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September




The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Premier | 110 matches | ||
| Competitive Dust2 | 110 matches | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 86 matches | ||
| Competitive Train | 61 matches | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 56 matches | ||
| Competitive Ancient | 54 matches | ||
| Competitive Nuke | 51 matches | ||
| Competitive Anubis | 28 matches | ||
| Competitive Overpass | 12 matches | ||
| Wingman | 7 matches | ||
| Faceit | 6 matches | ||
| Competitive Vertigo | 5 matches |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 11 different maps





Our logs show 10 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




23 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
5019 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 8,575 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 1442 | 17% |
| Smokes | 2824 | 33% |
| HE Grenades | 2039 | 24% |
| Molotovs | 2270 | 26% |
Our logs show you have wasted $1,256,180 of utility $99 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 13 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | slipi_playMCwithme | 50% | 40 |
| #2 | acemad | 49% | 55 |
| #3 | gabe | 48% | 123 |
| #4 | Rapier | 47% | 514 |
| #5 | duffrose | 46% | 290 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Faye ~ ♡ :3 | 24 | 0.0032 |
| #2 | Rapier | 21 | 0.0020 |
| #3 | duffrose | 10 | 0.0017 |
| #4 | gabe | 9 | 0.0036 |
| #5 | hannah | 6 | 0.0053 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Faye ~ ♡ :3 | 2418 | 0.32 | 52 min |
| #2 | Rapier | 861 | 0.08 | 25 min |
| #3 | gabe | 525 | 0.21 | 12 min |
| #4 | hannah | 239 | 0.21 | 7 min |
| #5 | AИИA ^^ (CS) | 198 | 0.13 | 5 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | hannah | +4.80 | 85 | 50 |
| #2 | Rapier | +4.54 | 77 | 57 |
| #3 | acemad | +3.73 | 85 | 44 |
| #4 | emi >:3 | -0.23 | 42 | 40 |
| #5 | gabe | -0.48 | 77 | 47 |





