








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 233 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September





The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Competitive Dust2 | 103 matches | ||
| Premier | 95 matches | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 78 matches | ||
| Competitive Train | 65 matches | ||
| Competitive Ancient | 61 matches | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 60 matches | ||
| Competitive Nuke | 51 matches | ||
| Competitive Anubis | 29 matches | ||
| Competitive Overpass | 13 matches | ||
| Faceit | 7 matches | ||
| Wingman | 4 matches | ||
| Competitive Vertigo | 4 matches | ||
| Competitive Grail | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Office | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 15 different maps





Our logs show 103 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




22 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
7480 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 15,791 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 3162 | 20% |
| Smokes | 4913 | 31% |
| HE Grenades | 4102 | 26% |
| Molotovs | 3614 | 23% |
Our logs show you have wasted $1,575,939 of utility $125 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 528 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | slipi_playMCwithme | 54% | 37 |
| #2 | hannah | 50% | 70 |
| #3 | acemad | 48% | 56 |
| #4 | duffrose | 48% | 276 |
| #5 | gabe | 47% | 131 |
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #8 | Faye ~ ♡ :3 | 46% | 291 |
| #9 | AИИA ^^ (CS) | 45% | 73 |
| #10 | property in Egypt | 44% | 41 |
| #11 | That_Gal_3141 | 40% | 62 |
| #12 | Buppypoy | 35% | 37 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | emi >:3 | 18 | 0.0017 |
| #2 | Faye ~ ♡ :3 | 15 | 0.0025 |
| #3 | duffrose | 11 | 0.0020 |
| #4 | gabe | 8 | 0.0030 |
| #5 | hannah | 8 | 0.0057 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Faye ~ ♡ :3 | 1903 | 0.32 | 42 min |
| #2 | gabe | 511 | 0.19 | 11 min |
| #3 | emi >:3 | 305 | 0.03 | 8 min |
| #4 | hannah | 280 | 0.20 | 8 min |
| #5 | AИИA ^^ (CS) | 194 | 0.13 | 4 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Rapier | +4.56 | 77 | 56 |
| #2 | hannah | +4.36 | 83 | 49 |
| #3 | acemad | +3.71 | 85 | 45 |
| #4 | property in Egypt | +0.24 | 62 | 49 |
| #5 | emi >:3 | -0.49 | 42 | 40 |





