








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 338 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September




The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Premier | 112 matches | ||
| Wingman | 25 matches | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 10 matches | ||
| Competitive Train | 9 matches | ||
| Competitive Dust2 | 7 matches | ||
| Faceit | 7 matches | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 6 matches | ||
| Competitive Nuke | 6 matches | ||
| Competitive Ancient | 5 matches | ||
| Competitive Vertigo | 4 matches | ||
| Competitive Overpass | 3 matches | ||
| Competitive Grail | 3 matches | ||
| Competitive Anubis | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Office | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 18 different maps





Our logs show 5 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




9 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
1733 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 8,771 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 1847 | 21% |
| Smokes | 2510 | 29% |
| HE Grenades | 1759 | 20% |
| Molotovs | 2655 | 30% |
Our logs show you have wasted $692,718 of utility $130 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 163 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | LIFTA | 59% | 32 |
| #2 | dinkeigh | 55% | 49 |
| #3 | ZombiebaconII | 53% | 15 |
| #4 | Rock | 50% | 119 |
| #5 | diamondback | 50% | 22 |
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #10 | AhConquistador | 42% | 33 |
| #11 | Ry Guy | 38% | 32 |
| #12 | Render | 36% | 22 |
| #13 | Dilly | 29% | 28 |
| #14 | JohnnyDee | 21% | 14 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Rock | 6 | 0.0024 |
| #2 | ZombiebaconII | 6 | 0.0181 |
| #3 | Ry Guy | 4 | 0.0056 |
| #4 | Ferb | 3 | 0.0032 |
| #5 | Phineas | 3 | 0.0045 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Ry Guy | 152 | 0.21 | 4 min |
| #2 | Rock | 143 | 0.06 | 3 min |
| #3 | Meap | 113 | 0.14 | 3 min |
| #4 | Dilly | 88 | 0.14 | 2 min |
| #5 | dinkeigh | 86 | 0.09 | 2 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Puppy Cait | +3.35 | 49 | 52 |
| #2 | ZombiebaconII | +1.92 | 84 | 62 |
| #3 | Meap | +1.18 | 81 | 51 |
| #4 | Render | +1.15 | 65 | 42 |
| #5 | Rock | +0.95 | 58 | 46 |





