








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 3 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September
The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Faceit | 134 matches | ||
| Wingman | 17 matches | ||
| Competitive Vertigo | 4 matches | ||
| Competitive Office | 3 matches | ||
| Competitive Overpass | 3 matches | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Grail | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Edin | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Train | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Dust2 | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Nuke | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Anubis | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 17 different maps





Our logs show 2 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




11 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
1437 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 4,698 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 820 | 17% |
| Smokes | 1178 | 25% |
| HE Grenades | 1272 | 27% |
| Molotovs | 1428 | 30% |
Our logs show you have wasted $603,508 of utility $147 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 15 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | ASmoothCriminal | 69% | 29 |
| #2 | t0ro | 67% | 15 |
| #3 | HxRL | 67% | 21 |
| #4 | ✨ Luz | 60% | 25 |
| #5 | JustGary | 59% | 37 |
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #8 | Whippopotamus | 53% | 95 |
| #9 | Spartan | 52% | 21 |
| #10 | ✪MATHIAS | 52% | 67 |
| #11 | Sweet Beef | 52% | 87 |
| #12 | Horizzon | 50% | 14 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Whippopotamus | 8 | 0.0037 |
| #2 | Joon_Jon ジュンジョン | 6 | 0.0022 |
| #3 | ✨ Luz | 4 | 0.0072 |
| #4 | ASmoothCriminal | 3 | 0.0049 |
| #5 | Danlmx | 3 | 0.0066 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Joon_Jon ジュンジョン | 328 | 0.12 | 8 min |
| #2 | Sweet Beef | 297 | 0.15 | 8 min |
| #3 | Whippopotamus | 261 | 0.12 | 6 min |
| #4 | ✨ Luz | 180 | 0.33 | 4 min |
| #5 | JustGary | 127 | 0.15 | 3 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | ✨ Luz | +4.61 | 91 | 62 |
| #2 | Joon_Jon ジュンジョン | +3.22 | 72 | 62 |
| #3 | Danlmx | +1.80 | 62 | 52 |
| #4 | Horizzon | +1.54 | 77 | 54 |
| #5 | Whippopotamus | +0.46 | 62 | 71 |





