








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 436 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September





The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Premier | 448 matches | ||
| Wingman | 3 matches | ||
| Competitive Nuke | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 9 different maps





Our logs show 1 Chicken Has been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




15 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
5209 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 9,931 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 2806 | 28% |
| Smokes | 1735 | 17% |
| HE Grenades | 2901 | 29% |
| Molotovs | 2489 | 25% |
Our logs show you have wasted $945,704 of utility $88 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 109 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | ✪ mumumumumumumuridesu | 57% | 81 |
| #2 | ✪ Derka Derka | 56% | 59 |
| #3 | boiled bread | 55% | 29 |
| #4 | Thats a spicy meatball | 52% | 135 |
| #5 | socayoot | 51% | 144 |
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #8 | nmad | 50% | 341 |
| #9 | Dark Brandon | 49% | 300 |
| #10 | Mstrav | 48% | 50 |
| #11 | Chung | 46% | 48 |
| #12 | Inno Cent | 45% | 139 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Thats a spicy meatball | 19 | 0.0067 |
| #2 | nmad | 9 | 0.0012 |
| #3 | Dark Brandon | 5 | 0.0008 |
| #4 | socayoot | 5 | 0.0016 |
| #5 | Aid | 3 | 0.0011 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | nmad | 1221 | 0.17 | 35 min |
| #2 | Dark Brandon | 625 | 0.10 | 18 min |
| #3 | socayoot | 473 | 0.15 | 11 min |
| #4 | ✪ mumumumumumumuridesu | 298 | 0.16 | 9 min |
| #5 | Inno Cent | 257 | 0.08 | 6 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | ✪ mumumumumumumuridesu | +3.69 | 80 | 65 |
| #2 | ✪ Derka Derka | +3.43 | 84 | 62 |
| #3 | DoughBoy | +1.97 | 53 | 50 |
| #4 | nmad | +0.93 | 69 | 75 |
| #5 | socayoot | +0.90 | 79 | 49 |





