










System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 38 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September




The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Premier | 158 matches |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 12 different maps





Our logs show No Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




3 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
1414 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 5,827 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 1247 | 21% |
| Smokes | 1606 | 28% |
| HE Grenades | 1633 | 28% |
| Molotovs | 1341 | 23% |
Our logs show you have wasted $539,569 of utility $120 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 64 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | ✪ mumumumumumumuridesu | 61% | 18 |
| #2 | boiled bread | 60% | 25 |
| #3 | AjaxLegacy | 54% | 13 |
| #4 | Thats a spicy meatball | 51% | 55 |
| #5 | DoughBoy | 50% | 127 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | nmad | 7 | 0.0019 |
| #2 | socayoot | 5 | 0.0027 |
| #3 | Thats a spicy meatball | 5 | 0.0045 |
| #4 | Dark Brandon | 3 | 0.0009 |
| #5 | DoughBoy | 2 | 0.0007 |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | ✪ mumumumumumumuridesu | +6.75 | 78 | 72 |
| #2 | DoughBoy | +2.50 | 56 | 52 |
| #3 | barry | +2.01 | 49 | 76 |
| #4 | nmad | +1.79 | 71 | 76 |
| #5 | Thats a spicy meatball | +1.73 | 69 | 39 |





