








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 71 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September




The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Premier | 147 matches |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 9 different maps





Our logs show 7 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




3 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
1290 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 5,349 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 1221 | 23% |
| Smokes | 1442 | 27% |
| HE Grenades | 1569 | 29% |
| Molotovs | 1117 | 21% |
Our logs show you have wasted $552,563 of utility $131 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 75 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | ✪ Derka Derka | 58% | 24 |
| #2 | Thats a spicy meatball | 55% | 64 |
| #3 | Mstrav | 55% | 11 |
| #4 | boiled bread | 50% | 14 |
| #5 | Chung | 50% | 20 |
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #7 | Dark Brandon | 46% | 119 |
| #8 | DoughBoy | 45% | 139 |
| #9 | socayoot | 43% | 88 |
| #10 | ✪ mumumumumumumuridesu | 39% | 33 |
| #11 | barry | 36% | 22 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Thats a spicy meatball | 6 | 0.0043 |
| #2 | nmad | 4 | 0.0013 |
| #3 | Dark Brandon | 4 | 0.0016 |
| #4 | DoughBoy | 2 | 0.0007 |
| #5 | socayoot | 2 | 0.0011 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | nmad | 530 | 0.17 | 15 min |
| #2 | DoughBoy | 319 | 0.10 | 9 min |
| #3 | socayoot | 282 | 0.15 | 6 min |
| #4 | Dark Brandon | 242 | 0.09 | 7 min |
| #5 | ✪ mumumumumumumuridesu | 109 | 0.15 | 3 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | ✪ mumumumumumumuridesu | +3.79 | 80 | 65 |
| #2 | ✪ Derka Derka | +3.64 | 85 | 65 |
| #3 | DoughBoy | +2.15 | 53 | 52 |
| #4 | barry | +1.53 | 50 | 77 |
| #5 | socayoot | +1.29 | 79 | 44 |





