








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 246 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September




The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Premier | 371 matches | ||
| Wingman | 7 matches | ||
| Competitive Nuke | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 11 different maps





Our logs show 2 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




8 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
2019 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 6,131 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 2612 | 43% |
| Smokes | 1804 | 29% |
| HE Grenades | 794 | 13% |
| Molotovs | 921 | 15% |
Our logs show you have wasted $982,710 of utility $108 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 126 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | ✪ Derka Derka | 62% | 26 |
| #2 | ✪ mumumumumumumuridesu | 55% | 67 |
| #3 | boiled bread | 52% | 46 |
| #4 | Thats a spicy meatball | 49% | 112 |
| #5 | DoughBoy | 49% | 300 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | nmad | 13 | 0.0018 |
| #2 | Thats a spicy meatball | 10 | 0.0043 |
| #3 | DoughBoy | 8 | 0.0012 |
| #4 | socayoot | 7 | 0.0019 |
| #5 | Inno Cent | 3 | 0.0012 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | nmad | 1246 | 0.18 | 36 min |
| #2 | DoughBoy | 646 | 0.10 | 17 min |
| #3 | socayoot | 538 | 0.15 | 14 min |
| #4 | ✪ mumumumumumumuridesu | 262 | 0.17 | 8 min |
| #5 | Aid | 250 | 0.08 | 5 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | ✪ mumumumumumumuridesu | +4.38 | 81 | 67 |
| #2 | ✪ Derka Derka | +4.01 | 86 | 67 |
| #3 | DoughBoy | +2.39 | 54 | 51 |
| #4 | socayoot | +1.54 | 80 | 47 |
| #5 | nmad | +1.26 | 69 | 77 |





