








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 48 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September




The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Competitive Mirage | 45 matches | ||
| Premier | 22 matches | ||
| Competitive Dust2 | 15 matches | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 11 matches | ||
| Competitive Train | 4 matches | ||
| Competitive Ancient | 4 matches | ||
| Faceit | 3 matches | ||
| Competitive Overpass | 2 matches | ||
| Wingman | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Nuke | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 9 different maps





Our logs show 7 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




10 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
1175 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 3,330 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 1158 | 35% |
| Smokes | 584 | 18% |
| HE Grenades | 872 | 26% |
| Molotovs | 716 | 22% |
Our logs show you have wasted $545,756 of utility $187 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 92 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Very Classic | 67% | 15 |
| #2 | Jaylin Jr. | 61% | 41 |
| #3 | guy mcflurry | 58% | 111 |
| #4 | jervon | 55% | 67 |
| #5 | NicJam | 55% | 49 |
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #3 | guy mcflurry | 58% | 111 |
| #4 | jervon | 55% | 67 |
| #5 | NicJam | 55% | 49 |
| #6 | YBG Don | 50% | 14 |
| #7 | Javier | 33% | 9 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | NicJam | 12 | 0.0124 |
| #2 | guy mcflurry | 6 | 0.0028 |
| #3 | Jaylin Jr. | 3 | 0.0040 |
| #4 | YBG Don | 2 | 0.0070 |
| #5 | jervon | 1 | 0.0008 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | jervon | 346 | 0.27 | 10 min |
| #2 | Jaylin Jr. | 221 | 0.30 | 8 min |
| #3 | guy mcflurry | 139 | 0.07 | 3 min |
| #4 | NicJam | 139 | 0.14 | 4 min |
| #5 | YBG Don | 65 | 0.23 | 2 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | YBG Don | +3.44 | 74 | 67 |
| #2 | guy mcflurry | +3.06 | 90 | 47 |
| #3 | Very Classic | +2.86 | 66 | 66 |
| #4 | jervon | +2.34 | 91 | 67 |
| #5 | NicJam | +2.13 | 80 | 62 |





