








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 263 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September




The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Premier | 214 matches | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 161 matches | ||
| Competitive Dust2 | 103 matches | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 90 matches | ||
| Competitive Train | 40 matches | ||
| Competitive Nuke | 38 matches | ||
| Competitive Vertigo | 37 matches | ||
| Faceit | 18 matches | ||
| Competitive Anubis | 12 matches | ||
| Competitive Ancient | 10 matches | ||
| Competitive Overpass | 6 matches | ||
| Wingman | 3 matches |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 10 different maps





Our logs show 26 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




36 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
7253 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 34,345 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 10088 | 29% |
| Smokes | 5357 | 16% |
| HE Grenades | 9732 | 28% |
| Molotovs | 9168 | 27% |
Our logs show you have wasted $912,420 of utility $60 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 276 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | YBG Don | 71% | 187 |
| #2 | Very Classic | 69% | 168 |
| #3 | jervon | 67% | 415 |
| #4 | NicJam | 65% | 141 |
| #5 | guy mcflurry | 64% | 149 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | NicJam | 32 | 0.0114 |
| #2 | YBG Don | 19 | 0.0051 |
| #3 | Very Classic | 17 | 0.0051 |
| #4 | farejador | 11 | 0.0080 |
| #5 | jervon | 9 | 0.0011 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | jervon | 2355 | 0.29 | 79 min |
| #2 | Very Classic | 793 | 0.24 | 25 min |
| #3 | YBG Don | 792 | 0.21 | 22 min |
| #4 | NicJam | 359 | 0.13 | 11 min |
| #5 | guy mcflurry | 199 | 0.07 | 5 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Very Classic | +3.30 | 77 | 69 |
| #2 | jervon | +2.46 | 88 | 74 |
| #3 | YBG Don | +2.38 | 74 | 67 |
| #4 | Jaylin Jr. | +2.03 | 69 | 80 |
| #5 | guy mcflurry | +1.96 | 89 | 46 |





