








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 363 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September




The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Competitive Mirage | 87 matches | ||
| Premier | 63 matches | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 45 matches | ||
| Competitive Train | 20 matches | ||
| Competitive Dust2 | 15 matches | ||
| Faceit | 11 matches | ||
| Competitive Ancient | 7 matches | ||
| Competitive Anubis | 4 matches | ||
| Wingman | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Overpass | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Vertigo | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 9 different maps





Our logs show 5 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




53 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
3383 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 7,553 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 2011 | 27% |
| Smokes | 1772 | 23% |
| HE Grenades | 1841 | 24% |
| Molotovs | 1929 | 26% |
Our logs show you have wasted $747,958 of utility $129 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 39 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #6 | jervon | 60% | 191 |
| #7 | guy mcflurry | 57% | 202 |
| #8 | awful insurance | 55% | 49 |
| #9 | CatPlays | 44% | 18 |
| #10 | S0METHINGvsY0U | 38% | 16 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | jervon | 9 | 0.0024 |
| #2 | Jaylin Jr. | 7 | 0.0025 |
| #3 | Very Classic | 7 | 0.0088 |
| #4 | guy mcflurry | 5 | 0.0013 |
| #5 | YBG Don | 4 | 0.0041 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | jervon | 1007 | 0.26 | 35 min |
| #2 | Jaylin Jr. | 782 | 0.28 | 28 min |
| #3 | guy mcflurry | 216 | 0.05 | 5 min |
| #4 | Very Classic | 168 | 0.21 | 5 min |
| #5 | awful insurance | 165 | 0.17 | 4 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | 1talp | +2.74 | 93 | 55 |
| #2 | Very Classic | +2.58 | 73 | 65 |
| #3 | YBG Don | +2.19 | 73 | 65 |
| #4 | jervon | +1.89 | 88 | 72 |
| #5 | NicJam | +1.61 | 80 | 60 |





