










System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 530 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September





The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Competitive Mirage | 122 matches | ||
| Competitive Dust2 | 86 matches | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 75 matches | ||
| Premier | 54 matches | ||
| Competitive Ancient | 33 matches | ||
| Competitive Train | 32 matches | ||
| Competitive Vertigo | 19 matches | ||
| Competitive Anubis | 19 matches | ||
| Faceit | 10 matches | ||
| Competitive Overpass | 7 matches | ||
| Wingman | 4 matches | ||
| Competitive Office | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 12 different maps





Our logs show 14 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




42 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
6119 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 14,960 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 6176 | 41% |
| Smokes | 2883 | 19% |
| HE Grenades | 1919 | 13% |
| Molotovs | 3982 | 27% |
Our logs show you have wasted $1,381,573 of utility $141 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 88 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Jaylin Jr. | 71% | 187 |
| #2 | guy mcflurry | 69% | 54 |
| #3 | Very Classic | 68% | 166 |
| #4 | NicJam | 65% | 46 |
| #5 | jervon | 65% | 293 |
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #4 | NicJam | 65% | 46 |
| #5 | jervon | 65% | 293 |
| #6 | Javier | 63% | 89 |
| #7 | yoq | 61% | 117 |
| #8 | soq | 56% | 156 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Very Classic | 19 | 0.0058 |
| #2 | soq | 14 | 0.0045 |
| #3 | jervon | 10 | 0.0017 |
| #4 | NicJam | 10 | 0.0103 |
| #5 | yoq | 7 | 0.0030 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | jervon | 1669 | 0.29 | 55 min |
| #2 | Jaylin Jr. | 981 | 0.26 | 33 min |
| #3 | Very Classic | 723 | 0.22 | 22 min |
| #4 | yoq | 323 | 0.14 | 6 min |
| #5 | soq | 287 | 0.09 | 7 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Very Classic | +3.07 | 75 | 70 |
| #2 | YBG Don | +3.06 | 77 | 67 |
| #3 | jervon | +2.26 | 89 | 75 |
| #4 | NicJam | +1.91 | 81 | 59 |
| #5 | guy mcflurry | +1.63 | 89 | 48 |





