








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 158 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September





The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Premier | 49 matches | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 9 matches | ||
| Wingman | 7 matches | ||
| Competitive Train | 6 matches | ||
| Competitive Overpass | 3 matches | ||
| Competitive Ancient | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Vertigo | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Anubis | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 17 different maps





Our logs show 18 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




4 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
1520 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 4,381 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 1532 | 35% |
| Smokes | 1153 | 26% |
| HE Grenades | 897 | 20% |
| Molotovs | 799 | 18% |
Our logs show you have wasted $260,504 of utility $106 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 155 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | TheBanana | 78% | 9 |
| #2 | Kenji | 71% | 17 |
| #3 | NOname | 65% | 26 |
| #4 | Truster | 63% | 8 |
| #5 | MaGgiX | 57% | 7 |
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #12 | ᵔ◡ᵔ | 53% | 30 |
| #13 | Microman | 47% | 19 |
| #14 | Smartii | 46% | 28 |
| #15 | Darki | 41% | 32 |
| #16 | Baron Miep | 30% | 10 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | ᵔ◡ᵔ | 4 | 0.0068 |
| #2 | Darki | 2 | 0.0030 |
| #3 | ¯\_(ツ)_/¯ | 2 | 0.0041 |
| #4 | Microman | 2 | 0.0048 |
| #5 | JustAPilot | 1 | 0.0016 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Atominat1on | 101 | 0.27 | 3 min |
| #2 | JustAPilot | 83 | 0.13 | 2 min |
| #3 | Darki | 69 | 0.10 | 2 min |
| #4 | Microman | 49 | 0.12 | 2 min |
| #5 | Smartii | 44 | 0.08 | 1 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | obeey | +3.31 | 84 | 67 |
| #2 | TheBanana | +2.36 | 70 | 41 |
| #3 | Truster | +1.95 | 72 | 53 |
| #4 | Kenji | +1.92 | 89 | 64 |
| #5 | Smartii | +0.62 | 82 | 70 |





