










System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 627 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September





The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Faceit | 106 matches | ||
| Competitive Vertigo | 6 matches | ||
| Competitive Train | 5 matches | ||
| Premier | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Nuke | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Office | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 11 different maps





Our logs show 2 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




5 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
2108 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 4,488 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 1534 | 34% |
| Smokes | 1199 | 27% |
| HE Grenades | 849 | 19% |
| Molotovs | 906 | 20% |
Our logs show you have wasted $529,210 of utility $159 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 360 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | uli 웃 | 88% | 17 |
| #2 | puuha | 88% | 25 |
| #3 | alxcb0b | 81% | 21 |
| #4 | p3kko | 81% | 26 |
| #5 | vasenlaituri | 75% | 8 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | alxcb0b | 3 | 0.0078 |
| #2 | p3kko | 2 | 0.0029 |
| #3 | venkula | 2 | 0.0036 |
| #4 | Normaali | 1 | 0.0031 |
| #5 | uli 웃 | 1 | 0.0035 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | p3kko | 153 | 0.22 | 5 min |
| #2 | puuha | 72 | 0.16 | 2 min |
| #3 | Normaali | 68 | 0.21 | 2 min |
| #4 | alxcb0b | 66 | 0.17 | 1 min |
| #5 | uli 웃 | 56 | 0.20 | 2 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | vasenlaituri | +5.09 | 83 | 54 |
| #2 | ottob | +4.91 | 90 | 61 |
| #3 | alxcb0b | +3.78 | 90 | 66 |
| #4 | uli 웃 | +3.48 | 87 | 75 |
| #5 | puuha | +2.85 | 81 | 82 |





