








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 590 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September





The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Faceit | 82 matches | ||
| Premier | 19 matches | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 7 matches | ||
| Competitive Train | 3 matches | ||
| Competitive Nuke | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Vertigo | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 2 matches | ||
| Wingman | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Ancient | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Anubis | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 11 different maps





Our logs show 9 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




5 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
2343 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 7,331 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 2389 | 33% |
| Smokes | 2188 | 30% |
| HE Grenades | 1101 | 15% |
| Molotovs | 1653 | 23% |
Our logs show you have wasted $383,213 of utility $108 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 136 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | uli 웃 | 88% | 17 |
| #2 | alxcb0b | 85% | 20 |
| #3 | puuha | 85% | 26 |
| #4 | ottob | 81% | 26 |
| #5 | rAsse | 77% | 22 |
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #4 | ottob | 81% | 26 |
| #5 | rAsse | 77% | 22 |
| #6 | masa | 67% | 9 |
| #7 | SexyJuba | 67% | 12 |
| #8 | venkula | 60% | 15 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | alxcb0b | 3 | 0.0077 |
| #2 | ottob | 2 | 0.0030 |
| #3 | rAsse | 2 | 0.0045 |
| #4 | venkula | 2 | 0.0057 |
| #5 | SexyJuba | 2 | 0.0084 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | ottob | 107 | 0.16 | 3 min |
| #2 | puuha | 71 | 0.15 | 3 min |
| #3 | alxcb0b | 64 | 0.16 | 2 min |
| #4 | rAsse | 63 | 0.14 | 2 min |
| #5 | uli 웃 | 59 | 0.20 | 2 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | uli 웃 | +3.45 | 86 | 75 |
| #2 | p3kko | +3.37 | 90 | 74 |
| #3 | puuha | +3.37 | 84 | 80 |
| #4 | alxcb0b | +3.19 | 86 | 70 |
| #5 | rAsse | +2.48 | 88 | 60 |





