








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 610 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September




The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Premier | 314 matches | ||
| Competitive Dust2 | 6 matches | ||
| Competitive Vertigo | 5 matches | ||
| Competitive Grail | 4 matches | ||
| Competitive Train | 4 matches | ||
| Competitive Anubis | 3 matches | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Agency | 1 match | ||
| Faceit | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 14 different maps





Our logs show 32 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




86 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
3440 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 10,556 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 3673 | 35% |
| Smokes | 3141 | 30% |
| HE Grenades | 1114 | 11% |
| Molotovs | 2628 | 25% |
Our logs show you have wasted $1,323,215 of utility $158 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 1233 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #13 | meepupu | 45% | 110 |
| #14 | yuqs | 44% | 99 |
| #15 | plus 25 | 42% | 24 |
| #16 | Red Bull Ampol Racing | 42% | 48 |
| #17 | TEMPORALIS | 30% | 81 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | 猎刚猪 | 30 | 0.0054 |
| #2 | TEMPORALIS | 15 | 0.0087 |
| #3 | meepupu | 11 | 0.0049 |
| #4 | brooding in their castle | 9 | 0.0132 |
| #5 | White Meat𐂃 | 8 | 0.0106 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | 猎刚猪 | 1043 | 0.19 | 29 min |
| #2 | TEMPORALIS | 307 | 0.18 | 9 min |
| #3 | meepupu | 264 | 0.12 | 7 min |
| #4 | fuyu | 202 | 0.06 | 6 min |
| #5 | Slwn1c | 199 | 0.24 | 5 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | yuqs | +3.24 | 62 | 80 |
| #2 | Faisal | +3.11 | 65 | 85 |
| #3 | TEMPORALIS | +2.40 | 50 | 75 |
| #4 | MR MEE6 | +2.27 | 58 | 62 |
| #5 | White Meat𐂃 | +2.22 | 61 | 81 |





