








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 171 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September




The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Premier | 122 matches | ||
| Faceit | 25 matches | ||
| Competitive Nuke | 1 match | ||
| Wingman | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Vertigo | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Ancient | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 9 different maps





Our logs show 75 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




13 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
1291 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 4,042 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 1149 | 28% |
| Smokes | 1005 | 25% |
| HE Grenades | 1122 | 28% |
| Molotovs | 766 | 19% |
Our logs show you have wasted $972,328 of utility $227 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 6 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | ☭JETS FAN | 53% | 43 |
| #2 | HermèsHawk | 46% | 71 |
| #3 | ma$o | 45% | 47 |
| #4 | Peej | 45% | 83 |
| #5 | Dr. Pedro | 43% | 30 |
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #5 | Dr. Pedro | 43% | 30 |
| #6 | Denji | 41% | 29 |
| #7 | beebs | 39% | 165 |
| #8 | Tajj | 38% | 60 |
| #9 | cuv | 30% | 77 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | beebs | 15 | 0.0043 |
| #2 | Peej | 11 | 0.0063 |
| #3 | Tajj | 4 | 0.0031 |
| #4 | cuv | 2 | 0.0012 |
| #5 | HermèsHawk | 2 | 0.0013 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | beebs | 583 | 0.17 | 20 min |
| #2 | HermèsHawk | 234 | 0.15 | 6 min |
| #3 | Peej | 159 | 0.09 | 4 min |
| #4 | Tajj | 132 | 0.10 | 3 min |
| #5 | ☭JETS FAN | 78 | 0.09 | 2 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | beebs | +2.38 | 70 | 75 |
| #2 | ☭JETS FAN | +1.10 | 66 | 62 |
| #3 | ma$o | +1.02 | 68 | 72 |
| #4 | Denji | +0.88 | 79 | 63 |
| #5 | HermèsHawk | +0.67 | 59 | 68 |





