








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 382 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September





The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Premier | 144 matches | ||
| Faceit | 55 matches | ||
| Competitive Overpass | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Anubis | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Nuke | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 9 different maps





Our logs show 11 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




9 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
2905 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 8,163 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 2269 | 28% |
| Smokes | 2194 | 27% |
| HE Grenades | 1288 | 16% |
| Molotovs | 2412 | 30% |
Our logs show you have wasted $865,049 of utility $163 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 8 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Aleks1butt | 93% | 15 |
| #2 | ☭JETS FAN | 67% | 83 |
| #3 | Denji | 59% | 59 |
| #4 | Peej | 52% | 123 |
| #5 | Dr. Pedro | 52% | 58 |
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #6 | beebs | 52% | 209 |
| #7 | HermèsHawk | 52% | 66 |
| #8 | cuv | 47% | 146 |
| #9 | Tajj | 45% | 102 |
| #10 | Slick | 45% | 47 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | beebs | 16 | 0.0036 |
| #2 | Peej | 7 | 0.0027 |
| #3 | Denji | 3 | 0.0023 |
| #4 | Slick | 3 | 0.0031 |
| #5 | cuv | 2 | 0.0006 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | beebs | 702 | 0.16 | 22 min |
| #2 | Tajj | 268 | 0.11 | 5 min |
| #3 | HermèsHawk | 222 | 0.16 | 5 min |
| #4 | ☭JETS FAN | 198 | 0.11 | 6 min |
| #5 | Peej | 191 | 0.07 | 4 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | beebs | +2.01 | 68 | 74 |
| #2 | Aleks1butt | +1.82 | 66 | 74 |
| #3 | ☭JETS FAN | +0.96 | 64 | 63 |
| #4 | ma$o | +0.76 | 67 | 68 |
| #5 | HermèsHawk | +0.37 | 61 | 66 |





