








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 301 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September





The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Premier | 278 matches | ||
| Faceit | 77 matches | ||
| Wingman | 10 matches | ||
| Competitive Ancient | 3 matches | ||
| Competitive Nuke | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Train | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Grail | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Overpass | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 12 different maps





Our logs show 18 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




28 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
2844 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 15,005 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 3303 | 22% |
| Smokes | 4662 | 31% |
| HE Grenades | 2863 | 19% |
| Molotovs | 4177 | 28% |
Our logs show you have wasted $1,013,752 of utility $115 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 382 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Aleks1butt | 64% | 25 |
| #2 | ☭JETS FAN | 59% | 93 |
| #3 | Tajj | 53% | 176 |
| #4 | HermèsHawk | 52% | 159 |
| #5 | ma$o | 52% | 123 |
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #6 | cuv | 50% | 239 |
| #7 | beebs | 50% | 357 |
| #8 | Denji | 50% | 52 |
| #9 | Dr. Pedro | 46% | 108 |
| #10 | Slick | 45% | 83 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | beebs | 37 | 0.0049 |
| #2 | cuv | 5 | 0.0010 |
| #3 | Tajj | 5 | 0.0013 |
| #4 | HermèsHawk | 4 | 0.0012 |
| #5 | Dr. Pedro | 4 | 0.0017 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | beebs | 1089 | 0.14 | 35 min |
| #2 | HermèsHawk | 521 | 0.15 | 13 min |
| #3 | Tajj | 401 | 0.10 | 9 min |
| #4 | ma$o | 239 | 0.09 | 8 min |
| #5 | Slick | 180 | 0.10 | 4 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | beebs | +2.31 | 69 | 75 |
| #2 | ☭JETS FAN | +0.74 | 64 | 59 |
| #3 | Aleks1butt | +0.72 | 53 | 71 |
| #4 | ma$o | +0.65 | 69 | 69 |
| #5 | HermèsHawk | +0.39 | 61 | 68 |





