








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 325 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September




The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Premier | 307 matches | ||
| Faceit | 85 matches | ||
| Wingman | 5 matches | ||
| Competitive Vertigo | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Train | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Ancient | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 9 different maps





Our logs show 15 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




11 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
3108 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 10,766 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 1449 | 13% |
| Smokes | 4358 | 40% |
| HE Grenades | 2525 | 23% |
| Molotovs | 2434 | 23% |
Our logs show you have wasted $1,817,516 of utility $193 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 209 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | ☭JETS FAN | 56% | 95 |
| #2 | Denji | 51% | 51 |
| #3 | Peej | 50% | 239 |
| #4 | Dr. Pedro | 49% | 126 |
| #5 | beebs | 49% | 383 |
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #5 | beebs | 49% | 383 |
| #6 | HermèsHawk | 48% | 153 |
| #7 | ma$o | 47% | 146 |
| #8 | Tajj | 43% | 242 |
| #9 | Slick | 30% | 77 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | beebs | 32 | 0.0039 |
| #2 | Peej | 14 | 0.0027 |
| #3 | Tajj | 10 | 0.0019 |
| #4 | ma$o | 5 | 0.0016 |
| #5 | Slick | 5 | 0.0031 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | beebs | 1225 | 0.15 | 41 min |
| #2 | Tajj | 577 | 0.11 | 11 min |
| #3 | HermèsHawk | 529 | 0.16 | 13 min |
| #4 | Peej | 431 | 0.08 | 9 min |
| #5 | ma$o | 272 | 0.09 | 8 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | beebs | +2.13 | 68 | 75 |
| #2 | Denji | +0.82 | 81 | 64 |
| #3 | ma$o | +0.57 | 66 | 67 |
| #4 | HermèsHawk | +0.18 | 59 | 69 |
| #5 | ☭JETS FAN | +0.00 | 60 | 61 |





