








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 308 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September





The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Premier | 216 matches | ||
| Faceit | 70 matches | ||
| Competitive Nuke | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Vertigo | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Overpass | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 9 different maps





Our logs show 4 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




13 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
2012 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 8,132 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 1900 | 23% |
| Smokes | 2280 | 28% |
| HE Grenades | 2196 | 27% |
| Molotovs | 1756 | 22% |
Our logs show you have wasted $863,449 of utility $121 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 139 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Peej | 53% | 176 |
| #2 | HermèsHawk | 51% | 104 |
| #3 | beebs | 48% | 273 |
| #4 | ma$o | 45% | 102 |
| #5 | Dr. Pedro | 45% | 74 |
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #5 | Dr. Pedro | 45% | 74 |
| #6 | cuv | 43% | 242 |
| #7 | ☭JETS FAN | 42% | 59 |
| #8 | Slick | 38% | 60 |
| #9 | Denji | 35% | 34 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | beebs | 23 | 0.0038 |
| #2 | Peej | 12 | 0.0031 |
| #3 | cuv | 7 | 0.0013 |
| #4 | Slick | 4 | 0.0031 |
| #5 | HermèsHawk | 3 | 0.0013 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | beebs | 925 | 0.15 | 31 min |
| #2 | HermèsHawk | 365 | 0.16 | 9 min |
| #3 | Peej | 333 | 0.09 | 7 min |
| #4 | ma$o | 213 | 0.09 | 7 min |
| #5 | cuv | 194 | 0.04 | 6 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | beebs | +2.19 | 69 | 74 |
| #2 | HermèsHawk | +0.75 | 62 | 72 |
| #3 | Denji | +0.74 | 80 | 68 |
| #4 | ma$o | +0.67 | 67 | 71 |
| #5 | ☭JETS FAN | +0.17 | 60 | 60 |





