










System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 432 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September





The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Competitive Nuke | 886 matches | ||
| Premier | 313 matches | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 225 matches | ||
| Faceit | 122 matches | ||
| Wingman | 65 matches | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 52 matches | ||
| Competitive Anubis | 45 matches | ||
| Competitive Vertigo | 27 matches | ||
| Competitive Train | 24 matches | ||
| Competitive Dust2 | 23 matches | ||
| Competitive Italy | 17 matches | ||
| Competitive Ancient | 12 matches | ||
| Competitive Agency | 11 matches | ||
| Competitive Office | 8 matches | ||
| Competitive Overpass | 7 matches | ||
| Competitive Jura | 5 matches | ||
| Competitive Grail | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Palacio | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Basalt | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 22 different maps





Our logs show 12 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




161 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
21603 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 29,043 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 7810 | 27% |
| Smokes | 6161 | 21% |
| HE Grenades | 5030 | 17% |
| Molotovs | 10042 | 35% |
Our logs show you have wasted $10,243,781 of utility $276 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 940 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Cache Man | 83% | 125 |
| #2 | Jimbob | 82% | 177 |
| #3 | .Fj | 80% | 294 |
| #4 | shift | 74% | 295 |
| #5 | srs | 72% | 98 |
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #6 | pamke | 71% | 105 |
| #7 | Tuna | 69% | 599 |
| #8 | hR | 69% | 183 |
| #9 | .jib | 65% | 136 |
| #10 | siena | 63% | 223 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | hR | 38 | 0.0099 |
| #2 | .jib | 32 | 0.0115 |
| #3 | shift | 27 | 0.0050 |
| #4 | siena | 20 | 0.0050 |
| #5 | Tuna | 19 | 0.0016 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Tuna | 1486 | 0.13 | 40 min |
| #2 | hR | 559 | 0.14 | 14 min |
| #3 | shift | 388 | 0.07 | 10 min |
| #4 | .Fj | 286 | 0.06 | 7 min |
| #5 | .jib | 255 | 0.09 | 5 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Cache Man | +4.61 | 72 | 50 |
| #2 | Tuna | +3.81 | 79 | 63 |
| #3 | hR | +2.49 | 64 | 59 |
| #4 | Salty Snake | +2.48 | 67 | 43 |
| #5 | Jimbob | +2.40 | 59 | 55 |





