








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 849 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September




The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Competitive Nuke | 624 matches | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 107 matches | ||
| Competitive Train | 19 matches | ||
| Competitive Vertigo | 17 matches | ||
| Competitive Dust2 | 15 matches | ||
| Premier | 14 matches | ||
| Competitive Office | 11 matches | ||
| Competitive Anubis | 7 matches | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 7 matches | ||
| Wingman | 4 matches | ||
| Competitive Ancient | 4 matches | ||
| Competitive Italy | 2 matches |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 16 different maps





Our logs show 21 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




119 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
10128 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 16,946 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 3908 | 23% |
| Smokes | 3559 | 21% |
| HE Grenades | 4879 | 29% |
| Molotovs | 4600 | 27% |
Our logs show you have wasted $3,190,757 of utility $192 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 3529 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Jimbob | 70% | 54 |
| #2 | Cache Man | 64% | 64 |
| #3 | Salty Snake | 63% | 223 |
| #4 | opium rob | 47% | 58 |
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Jimbob | 70% | 54 |
| #2 | Cache Man | 64% | 64 |
| #3 | Salty Snake | 63% | 223 |
| #4 | opium rob | 47% | 58 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Salty Snake | 27 | 0.0067 |
| #2 | Cache Man | 6 | 0.0050 |
| #3 | opium rob | 5 | 0.0043 |
| #4 | Jimbob | 1 | 0.0009 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Salty Snake | 210 | 0.05 | 4 min |
| #2 | Cache Man | 103 | 0.09 | 3 min |
| #3 | Jimbob | 73 | 0.06 | 1 min |
| #4 | opium rob | 19 | 0.02 | 0 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Jimbob | +4.85 | 56 | 48 |
| #2 | Cache Man | +4.61 | 71 | 51 |
| #3 | Salty Snake | +4.22 | 70 | 45 |
| #4 | opium rob | +0.85 | 32 | 13 |
| #5 | siena | -0.28 | 70 | 34 |





