








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 164 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September


The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Competitive Mirage | 27 matches | ||
| Competitive Dust2 | 24 matches | ||
| Premier | 21 matches | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 18 matches | ||
| Competitive Vertigo | 14 matches | ||
| Competitive Anubis | 12 matches | ||
| Competitive Nuke | 9 matches | ||
| Competitive Overpass | 8 matches | ||
| Competitive Ancient | 7 matches | ||
| Wingman | 3 matches | ||
| Competitive Office | 2 matches |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 15 different maps





Our logs show 9 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




11 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
917 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 3,294 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 1400 | 43% |
| Smokes | 599 | 18% |
| HE Grenades | 1070 | 32% |
| Molotovs | 225 | 7% |
Our logs show you have wasted $712,274 of utility $181 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 156 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Rozā brilles | 35% | 93 |
| #2 | zaza strip | 35% | 96 |
| #3 | PATCHY THE GORILLA | 33% | 87 |
| #4 | Билли Бой | 32% | 99 |
| #5 | Аберама Голд | 32% | 19 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | zaza strip | 23 | 0.0115 |
| #2 | Билли Бой | 16 | 0.0078 |
| #3 | mirzamagomedov | 9 | 0.0098 |
| #4 | PATCHY THE GORILLA | 5 | 0.0028 |
| #5 | Rozā brilles | 4 | 0.0021 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Rozā brilles | 271 | 0.14 | 8 min |
| #2 | zaza strip | 267 | 0.13 | 7 min |
| #3 | Билли Бой | 244 | 0.12 | 6 min |
| #4 | PATCHY THE GORILLA | 171 | 0.10 | 3 min |
| #5 | mirzamagomedov | 132 | 0.14 | 3 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | zaza strip | +4.45 | 80 | 67 |
| #2 | mirzamagomedov | +4.11 | 85 | 61 |
| #3 | Билли Бой | +3.48 | 81 | 62 |
| #4 | Rozā brilles | -1.46 | 36 | 56 |
| #5 | Аберама Голд | -1.74 | 31 | 74 |





