








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 936 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September





The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Premier | 165 matches | ||
| Competitive Dust2 | 26 matches | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 24 matches | ||
| Competitive Ancient | 18 matches | ||
| Competitive Anubis | 16 matches | ||
| Competitive Vertigo | 16 matches | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 14 matches | ||
| Competitive Overpass | 14 matches | ||
| Competitive Nuke | 8 matches | ||
| Competitive Train | 7 matches | ||
| Competitive Office | 6 matches | ||
| Wingman | 4 matches | ||
| Competitive Agency | 3 matches | ||
| Renown | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Italy | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Palacio | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Golden | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 18 different maps





Our logs show 46 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




28 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
2570 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 17,212 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 4917 | 29% |
| Smokes | 5223 | 30% |
| HE Grenades | 3936 | 23% |
| Molotovs | 3136 | 18% |
Our logs show you have wasted $1,515,120 of utility $194 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 523 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Отец Джон Хьюз | 53% | 164 |
| #2 | Билли Бой | 49% | 171 |
| #3 | PATCHY THE GORILLA | 48% | 25 |
| #4 | Альфи Соломонс | 46% | 109 |
| #5 | zaza strip | 43% | 46 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Билли Бой | 25 | 0.0073 |
| #2 | Отец Джон Хьюз | 9 | 0.0027 |
| #3 | Альфи Соломонс | 8 | 0.0037 |
| #4 | zaza strip | 7 | 0.0073 |
| #5 | Teorah | 4 | 0.0027 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Билли Бой | 396 | 0.12 | 8 min |
| #2 | Отец Джон Хьюз | 339 | 0.10 | 10 min |
| #3 | Teorah | 169 | 0.11 | 4 min |
| #4 | zaza strip | 133 | 0.14 | 3 min |
| #5 | Rozā brilles | 99 | 0.18 | 3 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Билли Бой | +3.37 | 80 | 64 |
| #2 | zaza strip | +2.64 | 80 | 65 |
| #3 | Отец Джон Хьюз | +2.46 | 72 | 62 |
| #4 | Teorah | +0.37 | 67 | 59 |
| #5 | Аберама Голд | -1.67 | 27 | 73 |





