








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 532 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September





The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Faceit | 178 matches | ||
| Wingman | 28 matches | ||
| Competitive Train | 6 matches | ||
| Premier | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Edin | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Dust2 | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Overpass | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 13 different maps





Our logs show 10 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




6 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
2331 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 12,735 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 4415 | 35% |
| Smokes | 3236 | 25% |
| HE Grenades | 2433 | 19% |
| Molotovs | 2651 | 21% |
Our logs show you have wasted $565,012 of utility $116 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 339 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | hops. | 57% | 21 |
| #2 | Solaris | 50% | 78 |
| #3 | maced1 | 49% | 90 |
| #4 | KING | 48% | 102 |
| #5 | Giuseppe | 46% | 78 |
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #7 | electriczz | 39% | 76 |
| #8 | Chef :) | 39% | 18 |
| #9 | Skrubsalot | 35% | 23 |
| #10 | Ethanol | 33% | 24 |
| #11 | stellar | 30% | 20 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Giuseppe | 6 | 0.0037 |
| #2 | electriczz | 4 | 0.0024 |
| #3 | Mr Myers | 3 | 0.0014 |
| #4 | maced1 | 3 | 0.0015 |
| #5 | KING | 2 | 0.0009 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | maced1 | 325 | 0.17 | 7 min |
| #2 | Mr Myers | 322 | 0.16 | 6 min |
| #3 | Giuseppe | 248 | 0.15 | 7 min |
| #4 | KING | 228 | 0.10 | 5 min |
| #5 | electriczz | 209 | 0.13 | 5 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Ethanol | +1.77 | 84 | 54 |
| #2 | maced1 | +1.61 | 71 | 59 |
| #3 | Mr Myers | +0.82 | 60 | 54 |
| #4 | KING | +0.68 | 75 | 50 |
| #5 | Giuseppe | -0.08 | 66 | 66 |





