








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 235 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September




The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Faceit | 126 matches | ||
| Wingman | 38 matches | ||
| Competitive Overpass | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Train | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 13 different maps





Our logs show 1 Chicken Has been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




3 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
1513 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 3,103 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 1079 | 35% |
| Smokes | 995 | 32% |
| HE Grenades | 551 | 18% |
| Molotovs | 478 | 15% |
Our logs show you have wasted $698,850 of utility $211 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 317 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | maced1 | 58% | 60 |
| #2 | Solaris | 55% | 64 |
| #3 | Mr Myers | 54% | 136 |
| #4 | Giuseppe | 53% | 68 |
| #5 | electriczz | 51% | 51 |
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #4 | Giuseppe | 53% | 68 |
| #5 | electriczz | 51% | 51 |
| #6 | tao | 48% | 102 |
| #7 | Ethanol | 33% | 9 |
| #8 | stellar | 33% | 15 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Mr Myers | 8 | 0.0030 |
| #2 | Giuseppe | 4 | 0.0029 |
| #3 | tao | 3 | 0.0014 |
| #4 | electriczz | 3 | 0.0027 |
| #5 | maced1 | 2 | 0.0015 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | tao | 684 | 0.31 | 19 min |
| #2 | Mr Myers | 416 | 0.16 | 9 min |
| #3 | maced1 | 235 | 0.18 | 6 min |
| #4 | Giuseppe | 199 | 0.14 | 5 min |
| #5 | Solaris | 129 | 0.10 | 2 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Ethanol | +3.67 | 92 | 46 |
| #2 | Mr Myers | +1.54 | 66 | 55 |
| #3 | KING | +1.19 | 76 | 49 |
| #4 | maced1 | +1.04 | 70 | 62 |
| #5 | Giuseppe | -0.49 | 71 | 70 |





