








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 342 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September




The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Faceit | 156 matches | ||
| Premier | 79 matches | ||
| Competitive Dust2 | 37 matches | ||
| Competitive Anubis | 21 matches | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 12 matches | ||
| Wingman | 11 matches | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 5 matches | ||
| Competitive Ancient | 5 matches | ||
| Competitive Nuke | 4 matches | ||
| Competitive Train | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 11 different maps





Our logs show 14 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




15 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
4048 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 13,025 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 3583 | 28% |
| Smokes | 4556 | 35% |
| HE Grenades | 2220 | 17% |
| Molotovs | 2666 | 20% |
Our logs show you have wasted $1,050,461 of utility $128 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 329 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | egg man | 75% | 48 |
| #2 | VlePaA | 75% | 55 |
| #3 | Mr.T | 71% | 59 |
| #4 | Pharaoh | 70% | 54 |
| #5 | TIMMAH ♿ | 59% | 22 |
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #2 | VlePaA | 75% | 55 |
| #3 | Mr.T | 71% | 59 |
| #4 | Pharaoh | 70% | 54 |
| #5 | TIMMAH ♿ | 59% | 22 |
| #6 | covet | 43% | 44 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | TIMMAH ♿ | 7 | 0.0172 |
| #2 | VlePaA | 4 | 0.0037 |
| #3 | Mr.T | 3 | 0.0025 |
| #4 | egg man | 2 | 0.0021 |
| #5 | Pharaoh | 1 | 0.0009 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | VlePaA | 344 | 0.32 | 6 min |
| #2 | Pharaoh | 196 | 0.18 | 4 min |
| #3 | egg man | 134 | 0.14 | 2 min |
| #4 | TIMMAH ♿ | 84 | 0.21 | 2 min |
| #5 | Mr.T | 73 | 0.06 | 2 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Mr.T | +5.33 | 97 | 59 |
| #2 | VlePaA | +4.74 | 85 | 66 |
| #3 | DiscAttano | +1.20 | 68 | 65 |
| #4 | TIMMAH ♿ | -0.28 | 79 | 67 |
| #5 | Pharaoh | -1.23 | 61 | 65 |





