








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 443 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September





The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Premier | 248 matches | ||
| Faceit | 118 matches | ||
| Competitive Dust2 | 22 matches | ||
| Competitive Anubis | 5 matches | ||
| Competitive Ancient | 3 matches | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 3 matches | ||
| Competitive Nuke | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 9 different maps





Our logs show 25 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




33 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
3393 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 11,954 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 2837 | 24% |
| Smokes | 3928 | 33% |
| HE Grenades | 2584 | 22% |
| Molotovs | 2605 | 22% |
Our logs show you have wasted $1,859,410 of utility $196 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 254 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #7 | Swanzy | 50% | 101 |
| #8 | MULLET TIME | 49% | 197 |
| #9 | Draeee | 45% | 31 |
| #10 | Zynplexity | 45% | 38 |
| #11 | m3bis | 43% | 69 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | MULLET TIME | 6 | 0.0014 |
| #2 | Swanzy | 6 | 0.0028 |
| #3 | VlePaA | 4 | 0.0052 |
| #4 | m3bis | 3 | 0.0021 |
| #5 | K41 | 3 | 0.0028 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | MULLET TIME | 424 | 0.10 | 11 min |
| #2 | m3bis | 342 | 0.23 | 8 min |
| #3 | K41 | 271 | 0.25 | 5 min |
| #4 | DiscAttano | 257 | 0.27 | 6 min |
| #5 | VlePaA | 242 | 0.31 | 4 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Mr.T | +4.97 | 97 | 58 |
| #2 | VlePaA | +4.53 | 84 | 68 |
| #3 | Draeee | +3.18 | 78 | 64 |
| #4 | DiscAttano | +2.00 | 75 | 68 |
| #5 | egg man | +1.72 | 50 | 57 |





