








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 224 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September





The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Premier | 315 matches | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 20 matches | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 11 matches | ||
| Faceit | 11 matches | ||
| Competitive Anubis | 10 matches | ||
| Competitive Dust2 | 9 matches | ||
| Wingman | 7 matches | ||
| Competitive Ancient | 7 matches | ||
| Competitive Vertigo | 5 matches | ||
| Competitive Train | 3 matches | ||
| Competitive Overpass | 3 matches | ||
| Competitive Nuke | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Office | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 15 different maps





Our logs show 29 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




21 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
5784 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 13,311 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 4076 | 31% |
| Smokes | 3477 | 26% |
| HE Grenades | 3208 | 24% |
| Molotovs | 2550 | 19% |
Our logs show you have wasted $483,584 of utility $52 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 126 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | WooWoof | 68% | 34 |
| #2 | Theporr1aaa | 60% | 81 |
| #3 | AtomicKitty | 60% | 25 |
| #4 | โชhelloman | 56% | 64 |
| #5 | .7' | 55% | 33 |
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #4 | โชhelloman | 56% | 64 |
| #5 | .7' | 55% | 33 |
| #6 | Rot Dam's | 54% | 26 |
| #7 | Dks | 52% | 106 |
| #8 | ๐๐ฒ๐ฌ๐ธ๐๐ฆ/.TTV | 51% | 183 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | ๐๐ฒ๐ฌ๐ธ๐๐ฆ/.TTV | 14 | 0.0037 |
| #2 | WooWoof | 7 | 0.0104 |
| #3 | Theporr1aaa | 6 | 0.0037 |
| #4 | โชhelloman | 6 | 0.0048 |
| #5 | .7' | 1 | 0.0015 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | ๐๐ฒ๐ฌ๐ธ๐๐ฆ/.TTV | 846 | 0.22 | 23 min |
| #2 | Dks | 393 | 0.18 | 10 min |
| #3 | Theporr1aaa | 384 | 0.23 | 11 min |
| #4 | โชhelloman | 175 | 0.14 | 5 min |
| #5 | WooWoof | 137 | 0.20 | 3 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | WooWoof | +3.10 | 67 | 61 |
| #2 | All Alone, like a dog | +3.07 | 85 | 65 |
| #3 | Rot Dam's | +3.02 | 79 | 72 |
| #4 | Theporr1aaa | +2.05 | 83 | 74 |
| #5 | โชhelloman | +0.52 | 69 | 65 |





