








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 279 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September




The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Faceit | 54 matches | ||
| Premier | 32 matches | ||
| Competitive Dust2 | 13 matches | ||
| Wingman | 9 matches | ||
| Competitive Nuke | 8 matches | ||
| Competitive Train | 7 matches | ||
| Competitive Ancient | 5 matches | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 5 matches | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 4 matches | ||
| Competitive Overpass | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Anubis | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Italy | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 15 different maps





Our logs show 16 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




3 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
1715 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 7,764 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 3562 | 46% |
| Smokes | 1972 | 25% |
| HE Grenades | 980 | 13% |
| Molotovs | 1250 | 16% |
Our logs show you have wasted $672,204 of utility $161 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 202 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | catgirls | 64% | 14 |
| #2 | ItsNevet | 63% | 19 |
| #3 | bonkbonkbonkbonk | 58% | 19 |
| #4 | Jean | 56% | 32 |
| #5 | Thunder | 56% | 18 |
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #7 | STEEEEELE | 53% | 15 |
| #8 | 𝕶𝖍𝖆𝖗𝖓 | 51% | 39 |
| #9 | Killerhawk | 50% | 12 |
| #10 | Jase | 45% | 22 |
| #11 | IXPotterXI ™ | 37% | 19 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | seel | 4 | 0.0044 |
| #2 | Jean | 4 | 0.0056 |
| #3 | IXPotterXI ™ | 1 | 0.0026 |
| #4 | Thunder | 1 | 0.0033 |
| #5 | catgirls | 1 | 0.0034 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | seel | 146 | 0.16 | 4 min |
| #2 | IXPotterXI ™ | 103 | 0.27 | 3 min |
| #3 | Jean | 90 | 0.13 | 2 min |
| #4 | Jase | 77 | 0.17 | 2 min |
| #5 | 𝕶𝖍𝖆𝖗𝖓 | 71 | 0.10 | 1 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | ItsNevet | +1.39 | 64 | 46 |
| #2 | Jean | +1.35 | 67 | 54 |
| #3 | IXPotterXI ™ | +0.76 | 59 | 64 |
| #4 | Umurangi | +0.66 | 73 | 67 |
| #5 | Thunder | +0.62 | 84 | 32 |





