








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 219 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September




The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Faceit | 128 matches | ||
| Premier | 100 matches | ||
| Competitive Nuke | 33 matches | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 28 matches | ||
| Competitive Ancient | 28 matches | ||
| Competitive Dust2 | 25 matches | ||
| Wingman | 23 matches | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 22 matches | ||
| Competitive Train | 22 matches | ||
| Competitive Vertigo | 14 matches | ||
| Competitive Anubis | 11 matches | ||
| Competitive Overpass | 10 matches | ||
| Competitive Jura | 5 matches | ||
| Competitive Grail | 4 matches | ||
| Competitive Office | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Agency | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Basalt | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 19 different maps





Our logs show 39 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




13 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
4689 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 14,814 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 2777 | 19% |
| Smokes | 4310 | 29% |
| HE Grenades | 3242 | 22% |
| Molotovs | 4485 | 30% |
Our logs show you have wasted $1,661,836 of utility $156 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 1278 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Thunder | 50% | 36 |
| #2 | catgirls | 49% | 88 |
| #3 | seel | 48% | 222 |
| #4 | AmyF1sh | 46% | 157 |
| #5 | 𝕶𝖍𝖆𝖗𝖓 | 45% | 56 |
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #4 | AmyF1sh | 46% | 157 |
| #5 | 𝕶𝖍𝖆𝖗𝖓 | 45% | 56 |
| #6 | At Witz End | 43% | 44 |
| #7 | MrWalter | 39% | 51 |
| #8 | bonkbonkbonkbonk | 36% | 77 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | seel | 7 | 0.0016 |
| #2 | AmyF1sh | 6 | 0.0020 |
| #3 | catgirls | 4 | 0.0022 |
| #4 | MrWalter | 3 | 0.0028 |
| #5 | At Witz End | 3 | 0.0030 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | seel | 799 | 0.18 | 19 min |
| #2 | AmyF1sh | 481 | 0.16 | 11 min |
| #3 | catgirls | 321 | 0.18 | 8 min |
| #4 | At Witz End | 149 | 0.15 | 3 min |
| #5 | MrWalter | 129 | 0.12 | 2 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | catgirls | +2.09 | 66 | 60 |
| #2 | AmyF1sh | +1.06 | 70 | 65 |
| #3 | Thunder | +0.82 | 86 | 44 |
| #4 | ItsNevet | +0.57 | 59 | 57 |
| #5 | 𝕶𝖍𝖆𝖗𝖓 | -0.74 | 71 | 36 |





