








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 58 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September




The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Premier | 40 matches | ||
| Wingman | 31 matches | ||
| Competitive Dust2 | 16 matches | ||
| Competitive Nuke | 15 matches | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 15 matches | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 12 matches | ||
| Competitive Ancient | 11 matches | ||
| Competitive Train | 10 matches | ||
| Competitive Anubis | 8 matches | ||
| Competitive Vertigo | 5 matches | ||
| Competitive Overpass | 3 matches | ||
| Competitive Agency | 3 matches | ||
| Faceit | 3 matches | ||
| Competitive Office | 3 matches |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 18 different maps





Our logs show 26 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




3 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
2229 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 4,280 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 1457 | 34% |
| Smokes | 455 | 11% |
| HE Grenades | 1375 | 32% |
| Molotovs | 993 | 23% |
Our logs show you have wasted $367,155 of utility $79 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 47 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Fentanyl | 57% | 21 |
| #2 | bonkbonkbonkbonk | 57% | 23 |
| #3 | Tony Camarabi | 53% | 19 |
| #4 | Umurangi | 51% | 39 |
| #5 | Thunder | 51% | 41 |
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #6 | Jean | 48% | 23 |
| #7 | ItsNevet | 45% | 56 |
| #8 | catgirls | 44% | 32 |
| #9 | seel | 41% | 124 |
| #10 | AmyF1sh | 38% | 34 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Jean | 5 | 0.0112 |
| #2 | ItsNevet | 4 | 0.0034 |
| #3 | seel | 2 | 0.0008 |
| #4 | Thunder | 2 | 0.0025 |
| #5 | Fentanyl | 2 | 0.0045 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | seel | 456 | 0.19 | 11 min |
| #2 | Umurangi | 260 | 0.35 | 7 min |
| #3 | catgirls | 122 | 0.19 | 3 min |
| #4 | AmyF1sh | 90 | 0.13 | 2 min |
| #5 | ItsNevet | 86 | 0.07 | 2 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Jean | +1.57 | 63 | 47 |
| #2 | Umurangi | +1.21 | 76 | 53 |
| #3 | ItsNevet | +1.12 | 67 | 57 |
| #4 | catgirls | +0.64 | 66 | 54 |
| #5 | 𝕶𝖍𝖆𝖗𝖓 | +0.34 | 73 | 41 |





