








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 418 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September





The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Faceit | 176 matches | ||
| Premier | 105 matches | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 23 matches | ||
| Wingman | 13 matches | ||
| Competitive Ancient | 11 matches | ||
| Competitive Anubis | 11 matches | ||
| Competitive Nuke | 10 matches | ||
| Competitive Train | 10 matches | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 6 matches | ||
| Competitive Dust2 | 5 matches | ||
| Competitive Overpass | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Vertigo | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 14 different maps





Our logs show 34 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




23 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
5173 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 19,784 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 6392 | 32% |
| Smokes | 3821 | 19% |
| HE Grenades | 5154 | 26% |
| Molotovs | 4417 | 22% |
Our logs show you have wasted $844,908 of utility $93 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 116 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | kyykyttaja | 75% | 24 |
| #2 | UnSKi | 63% | 64 |
| #3 | Noname | 59% | 80 |
| #4 | Noname | 56% | 108 |
| #5 | Viheliäinen Kassu | 56% | 111 |
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #7 | CombatVombat | 54% | 107 |
| #8 | VΛLDEツ | 54% | 28 |
| #9 | MuGe | 47% | 36 |
| #10 | fr0gg | 46% | 68 |
| #11 | Noname | 44% | 36 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Kusko | 6 | 0.0015 |
| #2 | MuGe | 4 | 0.0059 |
| #3 | Noname | 3 | 0.0013 |
| #4 | Noname | 3 | 0.0016 |
| #5 | Viheliäinen Kassu | 2 | 0.0008 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Viheliäinen Kassu | 767 | 0.32 | 24 min |
| #2 | CombatVombat | 609 | 0.26 | 17 min |
| #3 | Kusko | 556 | 0.14 | 17 min |
| #4 | Noname | 506 | 0.22 | 15 min |
| #5 | Noname | 335 | 0.18 | 9 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Muikkunen | +2.58 | 65 | 74 |
| #2 | CombatVombat | +0.53 | 66 | 71 |
| #3 | Noname | +0.20 | 60 | 74 |
| #4 | VΛLDEツ | -0.03 | 69 | 57 |
| #5 | kyykyttaja | -0.42 | 75 | 61 |





