








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 43 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September




The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Faceit | 89 matches | ||
| Premier | 85 matches | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 12 matches | ||
| Competitive Nuke | 10 matches | ||
| Competitive Dust2 | 9 matches | ||
| Competitive Train | 7 matches | ||
| Competitive Anubis | 6 matches | ||
| Competitive Overpass | 5 matches | ||
| Wingman | 4 matches | ||
| Competitive Ancient | 3 matches | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Vertigo | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Golden | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 17 different maps





Our logs show 3 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




10 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
2132 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 11,580 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 3523 | 30% |
| Smokes | 3516 | 30% |
| HE Grenades | 2077 | 18% |
| Molotovs | 2464 | 21% |
Our logs show you have wasted $440,267 of utility $73 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 10 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | fr0gg | 7 | 0.0049 |
| #2 | Kusko | 5 | 0.0018 |
| #3 | KURKKUMOPO | 5 | 0.0026 |
| #4 | UnSKi | 5 | 0.0067 |
| #5 | MuGe | 5 | 0.0083 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Viheliäinen Kassu | 613 | 0.28 | 18 min |
| #2 | Turmio | 508 | 0.20 | 13 min |
| #3 | Muikkunen | 414 | 0.18 | 10 min |
| #4 | Kusko | 374 | 0.14 | 11 min |
| #5 | KURKKUMOPO | 359 | 0.19 | 8 min |





