








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 930 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September




The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Competitive Office | 169 matches | ||
| Wingman | 101 matches | ||
| Competitive Nuke | 73 matches | ||
| Faceit | 59 matches | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 39 matches | ||
| Competitive Overpass | 38 matches | ||
| Competitive Dust2 | 26 matches | ||
| Competitive Vertigo | 25 matches | ||
| Competitive Train | 15 matches | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 7 matches | ||
| Premier | 3 matches | ||
| Competitive Ancient | 3 matches | ||
| Competitive Anubis | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Grail | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 15 different maps





Our logs show 7 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




34 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
6983 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 16,184 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 3977 | 25% |
| Smokes | 4280 | 26% |
| HE Grenades | 4552 | 28% |
| Molotovs | 3375 | 21% |
Our logs show you have wasted $752,502 of utility $68 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 1710 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Daman | 59% | 91 |
| #2 | MVGIIK | 55% | 94 |
| #3 | Soeur Frédégonde | 55% | 113 |
| #4 | Anil Brancaleoni | 51% | 246 |
| #5 | J'ai prouté | 50% | 171 |
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Daman | 59% | 91 |
| #2 | MVGIIK | 55% | 94 |
| #3 | Soeur Frédégonde | 55% | 113 |
| #4 | Anil Brancaleoni | 51% | 246 |
| #5 | J'ai prouté | 50% | 171 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | J'ai prouté | 20 | 0.0059 |
| #2 | Anil Brancaleoni | 13 | 0.0028 |
| #3 | Daman | 10 | 0.0055 |
| #4 | Soeur Frédégonde | 5 | 0.0023 |
| #5 | MVGIIK | 4 | 0.0022 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Daman | 179 | 0.10 | 4 min |
| #2 | Anil Brancaleoni | 150 | 0.03 | 2 min |
| #3 | MVGIIK | 136 | 0.07 | 3 min |
| #4 | J'ai prouté | 61 | 0.02 | 1 min |
| #5 | Soeur Frédégonde | 29 | 0.01 | 1 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | KibiK | +5.24 | 85 | 60 |
| #2 | MVGIIK | +1.04 | 62 | 55 |
| #3 | Daman | -0.33 | 55 | 56 |
| #4 | J'ai prouté | -0.69 | 59 | 26 |
| #5 | Soeur Frédégonde | -1.00 | 54 | 28 |





