










System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 149 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September





The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Competitive Office | 67 matches | ||
| Premier | 58 matches | ||
| Competitive Nuke | 50 matches | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 22 matches | ||
| Competitive Dust2 | 14 matches | ||
| Competitive Overpass | 12 matches | ||
| Competitive Vertigo | 12 matches | ||
| Competitive Train | 10 matches | ||
| Faceit | 8 matches | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 5 matches | ||
| Competitive Agency | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Ancient | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 15 different maps





Our logs show 17 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




22 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
2031 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 7,117 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 419 | 6% |
| Smokes | 2052 | 29% |
| HE Grenades | 2746 | 39% |
| Molotovs | 1900 | 27% |
Our logs show you have wasted $630,776 of utility $103 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 58 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Mario™ | 67% | 18 |
| #2 | Soeur Frédégonde | 56% | 55 |
| #3 | MVGIIK | 56% | 136 |
| #4 | Daman | 53% | 77 |
| #5 | Anil Brancaleoni | 53% | 207 |
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #2 | Soeur Frédégonde | 56% | 55 |
| #3 | MVGIIK | 56% | 136 |
| #4 | Daman | 53% | 77 |
| #5 | Anil Brancaleoni | 53% | 207 |
| #6 | KibiK | 50% | 171 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Anil Brancaleoni | 13 | 0.0032 |
| #2 | KibiK | 11 | 0.0033 |
| #3 | Daman | 8 | 0.0053 |
| #4 | MVGIIK | 6 | 0.0023 |
| #5 | Soeur Frédégonde | 4 | 0.0037 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | KibiK | 356 | 0.11 | 10 min |
| #2 | MVGIIK | 258 | 0.10 | 5 min |
| #3 | Anil Brancaleoni | 172 | 0.04 | 3 min |
| #4 | Daman | 154 | 0.10 | 3 min |
| #5 | Soeur Frédégonde | 13 | 0.01 | 0 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | KibiK | +5.38 | 86 | 57 |
| #2 | MVGIIK | +1.99 | 68 | 57 |
| #3 | Daman | +0.60 | 54 | 50 |
| #4 | J'ai prouté | +0.23 | 56 | 28 |
| #5 | Soeur Frédégonde | -0.19 | 60 | 27 |





