








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 416 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September





The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Wingman | 175 matches | ||
| Faceit | 153 matches | ||
| Premier | 14 matches | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 11 matches | ||
| Competitive Dust2 | 7 matches | ||
| Competitive Vertigo | 5 matches | ||
| Competitive Agency | 4 matches | ||
| Competitive Overpass | 3 matches | ||
| Competitive Ancient | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Office | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Anubis | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Italy | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Grail | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 16 different maps





Our logs show 7 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




6 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
3311 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 10,085 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 2893 | 29% |
| Smokes | 2363 | 23% |
| HE Grenades | 2314 | 23% |
| Molotovs | 2515 | 25% |
Our logs show you have wasted $1,044,847 of utility $136 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 194 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | πΈπͺπ¬πͺ | 65% | 141 |
| #2 | Shabootiqui | 60% | 125 |
| #3 | zekkY | 56% | 322 |
| #4 | ε°δΈγ¦γγγ | 52% | 33 |
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | πΈπͺπ¬πͺ | 65% | 141 |
| #2 | Shabootiqui | 60% | 125 |
| #3 | zekkY | 56% | 322 |
| #4 | ε°δΈγ¦γγγ | 52% | 33 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Shabootiqui | 9 | 0.0034 |
| #2 | zekkY | 7 | 0.0013 |
| #3 | πΈπͺπ¬πͺ | 4 | 0.0013 |
| #4 | ε°δΈγ¦γγγ | 1 | 0.0014 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | zekkY | 276 | 0.05 | 7 min |
| #2 | πΈπͺπ¬πͺ | 256 | 0.08 | 5 min |
| #3 | Shabootiqui | 191 | 0.07 | 4 min |
| #4 | ε°δΈγ¦γγγ | 110 | 0.15 | 2 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | πΈπͺπ¬πͺ | +2.82 | 83 | 57 |
| #2 | zekkY | +1.94 | 76 | 50 |
| #3 | Shabootiqui | +0.35 | 77 | 57 |
| #4 | ε°δΈγ¦γγγ | -0.36 | 73 | 57 |
| #5 | 4e | -0.89 | 63 | 52 |





