








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 74 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September




The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Premier | 353 matches |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 9 different maps





Our logs show 36 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




28 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
2067 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 9,907 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 844 | 9% |
| Smokes | 898 | 9% |
| HE Grenades | 4675 | 47% |
| Molotovs | 3490 | 35% |
Our logs show you have wasted $615,941 of utility $75 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 238 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Le Bomboclat | 51% | 102 |
| #2 | Ace Eucalyptus | 44% | 90 |
| #3 | Bussatron9000 | 42% | 71 |
| #4 | Zyn Cool Mint | 42% | 38 |
| #5 | Lebron Westshine | 42% | 131 |
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #3 | Bussatron9000 | 42% | 71 |
| #4 | Zyn Cool Mint | 42% | 38 |
| #5 | Lebron Westshine | 42% | 131 |
| #6 | Reavergy | 36% | 90 |
| #7 | Slumpy | 35% | 49 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Reavergy | 15 | 0.0078 |
| #2 | Lebron Westshine | 10 | 0.0036 |
| #3 | Slumpy | 7 | 0.0068 |
| #4 | Le Bomboclat | 5 | 0.0023 |
| #5 | Bussatron9000 | 4 | 0.0026 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Lebron Westshine | 322 | 0.12 | 7 min |
| #2 | Bussatron9000 | 193 | 0.13 | 4 min |
| #3 | Ace Eucalyptus | 122 | 0.07 | 2 min |
| #4 | Reavergy | 99 | 0.05 | 2 min |
| #5 | Le Bomboclat | 79 | 0.04 | 2 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Slumpy | +2.66 | 81 | 54 |
| #2 | Lebron Westshine | +1.15 | 51 | 53 |
| #3 | Le Bomboclat | +0.96 | 72 | 49 |
| #4 | Ace Eucalyptus | +0.26 | 52 | 57 |
| #5 | Zyn Cool Mint | -0.05 | 50 | 41 |





