








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 82 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September





The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Premier | 637 matches | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 4 matches | ||
| Wingman | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Train | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 9 different maps





Our logs show 53 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




36 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
4553 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 19,226 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 4454 | 23% |
| Smokes | 4855 | 25% |
| HE Grenades | 4997 | 26% |
| Molotovs | 4920 | 26% |
Our logs show you have wasted $2,114,055 of utility $143 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 1144 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Zyn Cool Mint | 52% | 60 |
| #2 | Bussatron9000 | 51% | 217 |
| #3 | Slumpy | 48% | 189 |
| #4 | Ace Eucalyptus | 47% | 175 |
| #5 | Ahturox | 47% | 49 |
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #4 | Ace Eucalyptus | 47% | 175 |
| #5 | Ahturox | 47% | 49 |
| #6 | Reavergy | 46% | 130 |
| #7 | Le Bomboclat | 44% | 126 |
| #8 | LeBron Sunshine | 42% | 131 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Reavergy | 23 | 0.0083 |
| #2 | Bussatron9000 | 18 | 0.0039 |
| #3 | Slumpy | 13 | 0.0032 |
| #4 | LeBron Sunshine | 9 | 0.0033 |
| #5 | Ace Eucalyptus | 6 | 0.0016 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Bussatron9000 | 528 | 0.12 | 10 min |
| #2 | Ace Eucalyptus | 278 | 0.08 | 7 min |
| #3 | Slumpy | 235 | 0.06 | 6 min |
| #4 | Reavergy | 191 | 0.07 | 4 min |
| #5 | Le Bomboclat | 94 | 0.03 | 2 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Slumpy | +1.86 | 76 | 51 |
| #2 | Lebron Westshine | +0.45 | 49 | 55 |
| #3 | Ahturox | +0.39 | 28 | 56 |
| #4 | Zyn Cool Mint | +0.05 | 49 | 36 |
| #5 | Le Bomboclat | -0.01 | 71 | 50 |





