








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 9 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September
The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Premier | 389 matches | ||
| Competitive Office | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Dust2 | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 10 different maps





Our logs show 14 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




28 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
4204 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 10,349 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 2075 | 20% |
| Smokes | 3240 | 31% |
| HE Grenades | 3383 | 33% |
| Molotovs | 1651 | 16% |
Our logs show you have wasted $859,697 of utility $95 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 69 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Bussatron9000 | 50% | 88 |
| #2 | Zyn Cool Mint | 48% | 65 |
| #3 | Lebron Westshine | 48% | 189 |
| #4 | Le Bomboclat | 47% | 81 |
| #5 | Ace Eucalyptus | 44% | 167 |
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #3 | Lebron Westshine | 48% | 189 |
| #4 | Le Bomboclat | 47% | 81 |
| #5 | Ace Eucalyptus | 44% | 167 |
| #6 | LeBron Sunshine | 35% | 49 |
| #7 | Reavergy | 34% | 82 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Reavergy | 9 | 0.0051 |
| #2 | Lebron Westshine | 8 | 0.0020 |
| #3 | Ace Eucalyptus | 8 | 0.0023 |
| #4 | Bussatron9000 | 7 | 0.0038 |
| #5 | Le Bomboclat | 3 | 0.0018 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Lebron Westshine | 439 | 0.11 | 9 min |
| #2 | Ace Eucalyptus | 236 | 0.07 | 5 min |
| #3 | Bussatron9000 | 201 | 0.11 | 4 min |
| #4 | Reavergy | 146 | 0.08 | 3 min |
| #5 | Le Bomboclat | 68 | 0.04 | 2 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Slumpy | +1.73 | 75 | 52 |
| #2 | Zyn Cool Mint | +0.47 | 59 | 40 |
| #3 | Ace Eucalyptus | -0.80 | 50 | 57 |
| #4 | Lebron Westshine | -0.82 | 44 | 57 |
| #5 | Le Bomboclat | -1.28 | 66 | 46 |





